If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How's work?
Spinning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
