Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
