Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
