Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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