thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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