who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
