Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
