carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There r osticjed everywhere
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
