no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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