the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Your penis caused this!
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