she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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