I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
