Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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