I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
