I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize