i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
