Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
