U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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