If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
