Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
