Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
