some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
