Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
