You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
