I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
