he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
