she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
