That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize