I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize