I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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