So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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