So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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