He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize