I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
