i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
