So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
