I wish I could punch you in the face.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
