tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
