im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
