Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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