I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
