is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize