My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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