chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
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