Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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