Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
