dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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