Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
