Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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