dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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