what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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