some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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