We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize