Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
