Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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