Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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