I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
