she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
