Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
