A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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