giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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