I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
