Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
